Gazebo By The Water

Gazebo By The Water        
Leonid Afremov (b. 1955)
Oil on Canvas, unknown.

CROE: so many colors!

TARBOT: I know, isn’t it absolutely delightful?
it makes me feel like I’m swimming in joy every time I look at it

CROE: it’s fun to look at from many distances, far away, and then zoomed in you can see all the spatula strokes, if that’s what they are called

TARBOT: yes, I love the bold strokes
it’s as if they bring motion and life to the whole thing

CROE: there’s a lot of different colors on each one
one thing that’s cool about it is the colors are so bright and vivid, yet it has a nighttime/evening feel
if you look in the reflection in the water of the structure with columns
there’s a yellow object

TARBOT: oooh, yeah
looks like there’s lots of different things in the reflections
that aren’t in the “real life” part of it
like near the center, in the water it looks much redder
but nothing really red on the ground to reflect it
just more white, green
something that looks like a gray box
so the artist
he utilizes knives
in his brush strokes

CROE: yeah?
like what kind of knives


CROE: well it’s not pointy
so i’m disappointed

they can be

CROE: that was what i was thinking of when i said spatula
in a vague sort of way


CROE: i wasn’t sure what they were called
if you look at the record, you’ll see that i did qualify my statement
unless i typed that, and deleted it
which is possible


The Iceberg

The Iceberg        
Scott Listfield (b. unknown)
Oil on Canvas, 2007.

CROE: the dissonance is making my brain hurt


CROE: ok, so i can actually imagine mcdonalds taking over the earth to the point where they are selling to polar bears in the arctic
but…the astronaut?

TARBOT: hehe
it’s like, his theme or whatnot

CROE: all of his stuff has astronauts?

TARBOT: dinosaurs too

CROE: i’m kind of imagining the artist puts a bunch of words in a hat, doesn’t know what to do today, and pulls out two: iceberg and fastfood
i don’t think i’ve ever seen one sitting down
but where’s the dinosaur?

TARBOT: hehe
well I don’t think they’re always in the same picture
maybe this is a future rest stop
on the “highway”
the highway in this case being a “waterway”
or maybe it’s another planet!
and it’s a rest stop for ships!

CROE: ooo, speaking of future rest stops
since the arctic is melting, there’s this bunch of people that are betting there will be an a new, more direct passage

TARBOT: to what?

CROE: for shipping
comparison routes

TARBOT: oooh

40 Ounces of Personal Hygiene

40 Ounces of Personal Hygiene        
Kevin Peterson (b. 1980)
Oil on Canvas, 2009.

TARBOT: what …
going on?
so… gas station.
is that gas floating around or did a river overflow?
I can see why the man’s taken to drinking and smoking

CROE: so malt liquor comes in 40-ounce containers
i think he’s bathing in it
but why he has a pig-face, that i can’t tell you

TARBOT: the wrinkles on his face are frightening
wonder why there’s an empty jar
floating around

CROE: so the jar…
it’s closed and floating. it looks cleaner than everything else…
it’s floating away.
maybe it’s repulsed by the dude

TARBOT: what’s with the title? … is it saying this man HAS no personal hygiene
like, he peed in the water/gasoline?
as one does in a pool?

More of this enthralling commentary here …

Pelt Merchant of Cairo

Pelt Merchant of Cairo        
Jean-Léone Gérôme (b. 1824 – d. 1904)
Oil on Canvas, 1869

CROE: meow?

TARBOT: more like, pimp merchant of cairo.
and his turban is askew… you know something’s shady

CROE: seriously
i bet he does a nice dance while he takes that pelt off
and when you take the helmet on and off for your adoring fans
it’s gonna mess up your turban

TARBOT: heehee

CROE: i like the contrast between his toes on the left, and the tiger’s toes on the right

TARBOT: who needs a tiger pelt in Egypt anyways?
isn’t it pretty warm already?

CROE: that was what i thought
maybe it’s for a rug?
but then why is he wearing it?
to get in touch with his inner caveman?

More of this enthralling commentary here …

Gero Tan

Tan Tan Bo Puking – a.k.a. Gero Tan        
Takashi Murakami (b. 1963)
Acrylic on Canvas, May 2011

CROE: ok
so here it is

TARBOT: oh my!!
I can’t decide if I want to eat it
or throw up on it
I do love that blue (sky)
looks like maybe… an alien invasion
like those giant pac-mac lookalikes have just landed
and are shooting laser beam weapons etc
or throwing up ice cream on things

CROE: here’s someone else’s take on it

TARBOT: I’m not sure what “Gero Tan” means, exactly

CROE: i don’t know either. japanese is not one of our combined seven languages

TARBOT: hehe
well it sorta looks like one of those children’s coloring books
and the child just went CRAZY with the colors

CROE: maybe it’s a self portrait of the artist
and it shows what he thinks of his method of creating art
it sort of reminds me of a creation myth story
like, this is how the world began

TARBOT: reminds me of the “execution” one
kinda dali-esque
lol – that’s what the reviewer says too

CROE: so i picked this one because i had no clue what was going on. it just made me want to stare at it, in a perplexed, amused fashion
so i was curious what you thought
but maybe that’s the whole point
to make you say wtf