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The Birth

The Birth        
Mark Ryden (b. 1963)
Oil, 1994.

CROE: it’s actually by an artist i’m familiar with
chris likes this guy a lot.

TARBOT: oh nice haha
“the birth”
def. not what I thought when I first saw it
looked more like the … mouse (or whatever) was somehow donating something to the parsnip
like… blood
how incredibly bizarre
wonder what that contraption is – in the nurse’s hands

CROE: i dunno – it looks like a generator or a pump
can’t the doctor put on some gloves?

TARBOT: srsly.
he’s all over that umbilical cord without a care in the world

CROE: i would have thought the parsnip would have looked a little more surprised, given the difference in appearance between her and her child

maybe she’s one half of an inter-species couple

CROE: with only recessive genes?
i don’t really see even a hint of parsnip in the blue bear…
you’d expect he’d at least have the tendrilly bits
maybe she’s a surrogate?

TARBOT: oooh
yeah I mean she doesn’t even look all that excited about her baby
(if it’s even a she… it’s possible male parsnips are the carriers)

CROE: had not considered that!
hah! look at the surgical tools! one’s a vegetable peeler!

TARBOT: nice!

CROE: what’s in the big auburn jar?

TARBOT: looks like extra small parsnip tendrils

CROE: hmmm
maybe they’ve removed them from the bear?

TARBOT: possibly
or want to attach them?

CROE: ooooo
or, perhaps they’re for a stew
they took them while the parsnip was knocked out and not looking


CROE: the doctor looks so kindly
and the nurse so sadistic
she’s just waiting for him to leave the room
then she’s going to dice up that parsnip and have it for dinner

TARBOT: haha
poor parsnip
the whole thing just looks like something out of someone’s bad dream

CROE: seriously
i kind of imagine he was cooking parsnips for dinner
and then that night…
the other thing that’s weird is the parsnip is in kind of your traditional reclining nude painting position
(i guess i should say, one of the many other things that are weird)
yet birth doesn’t seem very sexual

TARBOT: oh mmm good point
also… why is the parsnip awake during this?
it’s a Cesarean …
she/he should be knocked out cold!

CROE: people are awake during Cesareans
unless it’s an emergency
but in most cases they use an epidural or spinal

TARBOT: wait really?
no way
my mom wasn’t

CROE: yeah
then the mom is awake and can interact with her baby
plus the medication is less likely to reach the baby and make it groggy

TARBOT: huh.

CROE: Regional anaesthesia is used in 95% of deliveries, with spinal and combined spinal and epidural anaesthesia being the most commonly used regional techniques in scheduled Caesarean section
see wikipedia
if a woman is really really nervous, or there’s some emergency, then she gets general

TARBOT: I guess maybe in 1980s Romanian hospitals they did things differently :)

CROE: yeah
childbirth has changed a lot

TARBOT: no kiddin’


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